dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
