I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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