just come out here and I will go home with you...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
