fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
