Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
