He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
