He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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