Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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