Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
