I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
