That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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