dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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