i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drake has all the answers
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
