So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Porn is love you can see.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
