sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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