I wish i was in the wii world.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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