i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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