i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
