Screwed.edu
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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