Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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