I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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