good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
