Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
