saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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