It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
