Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
