my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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