My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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