i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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