Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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