so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
