Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
