Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
