you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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