Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
