please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize