Whod you bang
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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