You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
