Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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