those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
