Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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