Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Houston, we have a blender
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
