She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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