omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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