i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
