Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
