i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
