I hate your face
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Randomize
