Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
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The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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