well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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