U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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