when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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