You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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