who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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