Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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