it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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