If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
