is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
