ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
