His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
